The Legend of Wario Ware
by Wariofan63
Summary: This is basically the middle of a Wario Ware story. Still in progress. Now with Dribble and Spitz's games! Hopefully with a new chapter soon!
1. The Intro

The Legend of Wario Ware Inc  
  
Intro  
  
Wario sighed. It was a rather uneventful day. He flipped the channel once more. More news! It was too much! "Why do people like reporting on such events?" thought Wario. "A cat got stuck up a tree. Bobby's ice cream melted. The hospital is on fire. Like I really care! C'mon! Where are the freakin cartoons already?" He was relaxing on his couch in a small house in Diamond City, his summer getaway and where all his old friends are. He wanted to have a supreme view of the residents so he paid for his house to be on top of the tall central useless mound. It has an elevator built into it so that Wario won't have to jump down. Going back to our star, he unintentionally started to pick his nose. When he realized what he was doing he was suddenly overcome with Deja vu. You see he was in a similar position 2 years back when he was laying on his couch in his castle back home picking his nose whilst reading the Nintendo News and discovered a golden pyramid was discovered and just HAD to get that lost treasure. Well it just so happens....  
  
"Game sales" began Ken the Reporting Dog on the television "are WAY up!" Wario sat up. If there's anything he liked almost as much as money it was video games. "Here's why!" Continued the reporter as he held up a game called "Pyoro". Ken closed in on the camera "is it THAT cool?" Wario suddenly got an idea! He'd make his own game! That'd make him rich! But he thought for a moment. Perhaps he needed a change of outfit? Something that appeals to the public... He looked out the window and saw some local biker kids give an old lady an atomic wedgie. Wario laughed to himself and then thought. "I gotta give someone an atomic wedgie one of these days." Then he had another thought. "Maybe I would be more popular with a Biker outfit." Then he sprinted to his garage and found the motorbike he received from Toad the previous fall.  
  
This is Wario's motorbike. He lost his license so he's not going anywhere. Oh wait wrong game...  
  
15 minutes later Wario rode around Diamond City in a newly bought biker outfit on his newly polished Motorbike. He crashed his bike through the doors and into the living room. He then apologized to the Margizel family for crashing into their house. He then rode his bike into the elevator to his house and into the living room. He noticed that the workers he hired to turn his house into a company succeeded only after 30 minutes of calling them. Then he walked it to his garage. "Now to begin work." Said the guru of greed as he sat down with his newly purchased custom-made laptop. He worked for 12 hours straight when Old Mr. Sandman came. "Hey! What did I tell you about breaking into my house you geezer?" He threw the elderly man out the window and continued to work until dawn. "So tired...Must sleep..." Then he saw his phone book with all of his friends names on it. Wario grinned. "I got it! Ill call my friends!" He looked at the 1st name on his list.   
  
"Hello, Jimmy? It's me Wario! Yeah well think you can make some games for me? You wanna make sports games eh? That'll do that'll do. What's it for? My...uh.... New company! Its called...WARIO WARE INCORPORATED! Yeah I'm getting the whole gang together. You know you Mona Dribble Spitz Dr. Crygor, Orbulon, and me. I'm calling them later. Were gonna need a few more though...I think I can get a few kids at the school to work for me. Well I gotta go I hear rapid knocking at my door."  
  
Wario opened the door to find a short kid wearing a funny looking helmet. "Are you the one and only Wario? I heard you were starting a company! Can I be in it? My name is 9-Volt and I love your games. CAN I? CAN I? CAN I?" Wario looked at him blankly. "News sure gets out fast." He stated. "Well kid I suppose I can let you in." 9-Volt was grinning from ear to ear. "Sorry," he said, "My mouth tends to do that when I'm overexcited. My mom thinks I need braces. Anyway Ive got some friends of mine that'll be sure to work for you. Their a pair of twins named Kat and Ana. They know a lot of Japanese and make really good ninjas." "Look Energizer" "9-Volt!' "Whatever! They can work for me too, that Kat and Ana pair just get off of my property" and he slammed the door.   
  
Wario finished his call to Orbulon and looked at the final name in his list. It was all smudged...he couldn't read it. "What does it say? Waluckigir? Warlufiji? Ah well doesn't matter?" He tossed away the book. Just then back at Wario's castle a tall, thin man with a purple shirt and black overalls started to cry. And now back to the important one. "Well, that was easy. Now all I need is to get some sucker to test out our games and well be a success!" And so begins the tale of Wario Ware Inc.  
  
END Intro 


	2. Getting Started

The Legend of Wario Ware Inc  
  
Tutorial  
  
General Surgeon's Warning: The character Derek is in no way a video-game character and does not belong in the Mario Universe whatsoever. Please do not think he is a real person either. He is only a fictional character for use of this story. Now go fetch me my slippers.  
  
Wario paced up and down the room. He was waiting for the test subject to get here. He deicded to plan out the game testing a little differently then expected "Calm down" he said to himself. "He'll get here....Ill just go do something productive!"So he began to lift a few of his weights.Meanwhile just outside Wario's house someone appeared to be walking up to it. It was a scrawny teenage boy wih wavy black hair and big owl-sized glasses.. He was very nervous, but then again hes always very nervous when it comes to anything that happens no matter how trivial. He stepped into the elevator and rode up.  
  
He gulped as he reached the final destination and the doors opened. Then he saw Wario working out just not paying attention to what was going on. "Uh...Mr.Wario, sir?" Wario turned around. "Eh? Who are you?" "Im....Im...Derek." The boy answered. Wario gave Derek a blank look. "I applied for game tester." Wario just glared at him. "For your company Wario Ware." "HA!" Wario finally said. "You blinked! I win the staring contest!. Anyway I know who you are kid. I are know how to read the application rightly." "Uh...is this a bad time Mr.Wario?" "Oh gosh no. And please, dont call me 'Mr Wario.' Call me 'Boss' or 'King Wario' by all means." Wario got out his boom box. "Now Derek, this job is not something youd want to do everyday. It may be insane, wacky, and taste like metal. Are you prepared for it?" Derek nodded his head. "Well then, think you can beat my games?"  
  
Wario then started to jump on his trampoline. After a few jumps he jumped so high he actully went through the chimney and landed smack dab in his boombox. Squeeeezed in his boom box! Smack daaaab in his boom box! Squeeee-oh sorry, its a habit. Afterwards a confused Derek thought he should then follow in pattern. So he started to jump on the trampoline. Then as if by magic he too went straight through the chimney and back down into the boom box. It was completely dark. "Welcome to my testing area! It is here that you will test out all my game ideas. If you can suceed I'll program all my games into a special Game System and I'll call my employees and give them the word on the new game tester in town All righty? Here we go."  
  
The lightscame on around Derek revealing that he was standing on a large floor in the boombox. And that Wario was standing on a platform about 5 feet up watching. He appeared to have a remote in his hand and Derek noticed that the platform Wario was on wasn't to sturdy as it appeared to be cracking. Wario pressed the 1st button on his remote. CLICK! And just then Derek could hear a car coming. After a closer look the car appeared to be in the shape of a hotdog. It was going too fast. Derek was about to get run over! Just when these sequence of events started too! Then as if by force he jumped miracuously over the car. Wario just laughed and hit another button. CLICK! And to his and Derek's surprise his platform broke off and started to spin. "Gah! Whats-a going on here? Stop me David!" "Its Derek, Sir." And then he ran off and simple stopped the platform by holding on the railing and pushing down on it. "Another thing." Started a dazed Wario. "Not even I know whats going to happen. Its just that random!" CLICK! A stick fell out of nowhere and Derek surprisingly caught it. "Well that was unexpected." excaimed Wario. CLICK! A hole opened under Wario's feet and he fell down. Derek peered into the hole. "Are you all right, sir?" he querried. Wario's disgruntled voice echoed through the hole. "Yeah, Im allright kid. In fact never better!" "You don't have to use sarcasm, sir!" "No Im serious I found a diamond!" "In your boombox?" "Yeah, what're the odds of that? Well get on down here we gotta continue our little test run!" Derek cautiously jumped down.  
  
"Hey! Look at that! A car! Isn't life full of surprises?" Said Wario as he went towards a nearby wall. CLICK! Several boulders appeared. Knowing how unbelievbly slow his legs are, Derek jumped into the car and started to drive quickly. After a few seconds the boulders mysteriously disappeared. CLICK! The car turned into a spaceship and a UFO appeared. Good thing playing video games 24/7 gave Derek better coordination as he shot the fast-moving UFO. CLICK! A harsh wind started to blow which somehow blew much of Wario's costume off. Hey look! The rating on this story is going up! Wait a minute.. "What the? Let's skip this one!" "Agreed." Wario took 5 to gether his clothes. CLICK! Derek found himself on a highway Next to a tightly packed group of cars. Hw used sharp turning skills to quickly dodge the cars. Then after surviving Wario came down to congrashoolate....Cungratulaite....Contaminate....award Derek for coming this far into the testing. Just then...something seemed to have attacked the boombox. the ground started to shake. Wario's loose change fell out of his pocket and into a hole in the ground. "Kid, I think we're not quite done yet." said Wario as he jumped down. Derek followed in the same manner.  
  
"The coins should have fallen into that mazelike structure over there." "How can you tell, sir?" "Because I see shiny emitting from it!" "it looks a little dark in there sir." "I don't know the meaning of fear!" So Wario got out his pocket dictionary and looked up "fear" which can be either a noun or a verb! Isnt that wacky? So they went into the maze and easily colelcted the lost money. But that wasnt all. The attacks still seemed to be going. A few Goombas appeared out of nowhere but Wario smply stepped on them. Then when things were starting to look up the lights went out. "Gah! Where am I?" shouted Wario looking for some light source. Derek quickly got out an emergency flashlight and looka round for Wario, who panicked at the 1st sign of light but calmed down seconds later. "Oh! Hey thanks! By the Way Could you grab me a root beer out of that mysteriously appeared cooler?" After a 2 minute celebration they decided to look for a way out. But then they heard a crash and a boom. A pendulum came out of the cieling. "Stand back kid!" said Wario as he geared up his muscles. Wario began to punch the pendulum as it swung back and forth. Then it swung all the around its little hook thingo and Wario used quick thinking to break the now counter-clockwise pendulum. They decided to look for a way out...again. Wario found a speaker and undid its screws. "Hmmm..everything seems to be OK so far." he said whilst walking out without realizing he still had shrinkage. And not the Sienfeld kind. But then he heard a noise as if there was a car behind him. Well that last sentence really stated the obvious and Wario turned to see some cars running straight toward him. Sneakily jumping over the cars he ran back into the the boombox, shut the speaker, and decided. "The only way out is the way we came." "But how are we going to do that sir?" "Because I said so." And as if the contiuum of this story suddenly fell out the window they found themselves about to escape the boombox. "Ya see kid? When your WARIO!, you just need to say things and it'll happen!" So the duo gathered there strength and jumped out landing on the now miniature cars.  
  
"Wahaha! That was fun! you did it! You beat the test run! Next up its....Jimmy!" laughed Wario as he got out his cell phone. As Wario was talking to the Disco King, Derek started to explore a bit. He found a photo under a pile of old books and it had 2 people on it. On the left Derek recognized as Wario. But the right part of the picture was all blotchy of what looked like something colored purple and black. "Ah yes!" said Wario observing since he was off the phone apperently. "That would be a photo of me and...uh...me and er.... hmmmmmm." Wario stared at the photo for some time. "I think I know the guy on the right. But the inks tooo blotchy to make out. Oh well! Its not important!" And he tore the picture in two. Just then back at Wario's Castle the tall, thin man with he purple shirt clutched his heart and screamed as if someone had just broken it. Now back to what matters. Derek set out to meet Jimmy T. down at Club Sugar and Wario began to program the recent events into game form. And so as this illogical story unfolds the legend continues.... Tune in next week to "Some Like it RRRRRRed Hot!" Oh wait a minute.....  
  
END TUTORIAL 


	3. Everybody Disco Dancing!

The Legend of Wario Ware, Inc.  
  
Jimmy  
  
General Surgeons Warning: Although most of these characters are from the Universe of Mario be warned there are some taken from other places or have made up myself.  
  
Derek continued his path to Club Sugar. Supposedly Club Sugar is where Jimmy T. "The Disco King" stayed for most of his day. Heck Legend has it he lives there. Derek knocked on the door of Club Sugar. After waiting 10 minutes he then realized Club Sugar was a public place and anyone could enter without knocking. That would explain why some kids pointed and laughed at him earlier. They also threw garbage at him. Entering the Club he found it was like a 70's flashback. And he wasn't even born in the 70's. And as if my magic Derek knew what Jimmy looked like and walked straight up to him. "Disco Jimmy has got the groove! What the? Who are you?" "Well see I'm the War-" "Don't you be making up lies to Jimmy T. You just threw off my groove man!" Some rather big men threw Derek out. Actually threw threw him out the window. It probably hurt. So after regrouping Derek walked back into Club Sugar for a 2nd attempt. "Oho! Coming back for Round 2 eh? Well then we can't-" Just then Jimmy's phone rang. "Hello, Jimmy T. Disco King at your service. Oh hey boss!..... Yeah I was chilling here at the club with all the other cool cats.....Yeah I remember that game tester ad you sent out for.....Ya got someone? What does he look like? Oh!Oh.Oh....Yeah I threw him out by accident......I couldn't help it! He threw off my groove!....The punishment for throwing one more person out?....No! Not that! C'mon! Anything BUT that!.......Ok, now that you mention it its not THAT bad......All right All right now I see....K' boss! I'll let him know." And he hung up. Apparently Jimmy's "punishment" was that he was receiving "virtual" spam mail from Wario. Yeah see Wario typed up like 20-some ideas and sent them to Jimmy and Jimmy will do this thing where he presses buttons and the idea becomes reality. Come to think of it Wario didn't type them up but his sport-loving neighbor Mr.Bertalix. So yeah thats the deal. And thus Jimmy took Derek to the back room that no one uses. Mainly cause it smells of pickles. "So...You wanna play my games huh? OK. Lets rock!" And he unleashed the 1st of the spam mail.  
  
The 1st thing unleashed was a log set atop two bricks. Recalling his wretched days in karate class Derek realized that the only way to chop the log was to be log the log. Or focus your energy and smash it into two pieces. Or something along those lines. So Derek gathered his strength and hit the log straight the down the center. Now breaking this sentence down we see that he hit the log and he hit the center of it. "OW! My hand! It pains! It pains with the intensity of a thousand suns!" BEEP! A statue of a dog with an apple atop its head appeared. Using a bow and arrow Derek had but one shot to get the apple. And multiple times playing as Link sort of helped. He actually hit the apple which was a surprise to everyone. BEEP! A guy appeared and Derek's right hand became an immense Baseball Mitt. The guy must've been a good pitcher cause he pitched fast. And thanks to the immense size of the mitt Derek caught it. BEEP! The guy started to jump on a trampoline but this guy wasn't very coordinated so his landing spot would not be pretty. Like that episode of The Simpsons when they...oh right the story. Well Derek came in at the nick of time to move the trampoline so that the guy would land on it. Which is odd cause trampolines are heavy and.... I gotta stop side-tracking...  
  
BEEP! A bowling alley. With but one pin at that. Derek was commonly a Gutter ball Master. I tell you there's this one time where he got 10 Gutter balls. It was hilarious. They threw bowling shoes at him and he cried for 2 days. You had to have been there! So he readied his shot and threw the ball. Lo, it struck! It struck mightily! BEEP! That one guy was a pitcher again. Except this time Derek's hand turned into an immense baseball bat. And he whacked that ball out of the park! Wait they're not in a park they're in a building. So yeah he broke a window then. It also hit a man selling tacos. What awkward luck! BEEP! Derek and that guy started to play tennis. They did a rally and thats about it. BEEP! Derek found himself trying to swim to the end of a pool side. When he got there 3 men in speedos started dancing and everyone averted their gaze.  
  
BEEP! Derek was about to toss a hammer. However he wasn't at all strong. So he immediately dropped it on his foot. "When oh WHEN WILL IT END?" He yelled jumping up and down. BEEP! He was on a unicycle balancing some bricks. Why does this suddenly remind me of The Cat in the Hat? Oh yeah Derek fell. What? You think after the hammer accident he'd be balancing bricks on a unicycle? Lets see you do it Mr.Hotshot! BEEP! Derek had to putt a golf ball into a hole. It was kind of simple. Even if it made Par. BEEP! Derek was skiing down a hill.....wait...but its in a building....you cant....I'm not gonna ask....All in all he had to jump a ramp. Which he surprisingly did.  
  
BEEP! This time Derek had to jump on clouds to get to the top of a mountain. Ignoring the laws of mass he accomplished it quite nicely. BEEP! Derek had to jump to the top of a human pyramid. Hold on I'm going to go check with my supervisor if were allowed to cover that. Well we can skip it for now. Thank heavens. BEEP! Derek had to lift up some dumbbells. After reading about the Hammer toss incident I hope you realize what happened to him by now... "OW! BY FOOT! TWICE IN ONE SITTING! THIS IS THE WORST PAIN EVER!" Silly Derek! Thinking he can escape the cruel emotion of pain! Er yes moving on. BEEP! Derek had to play Curling. Curling? What on Earth is Curling? "Curling is a type of sport, dude! Jimmy knows all about it!" Well then what do you have to do? "And does it involve my feet getting hurt some more?" "Its on ice I think..." I thought you said you knew all about curling. "Well I lied...but it makes a great pick up line! Chicks dig Curling!" How do you know? "Because I said so!" "Oh yes THAT makes sense!" I have to give it to him, Derek, he does. "Yeah easy for YOU to say! You get to sit on your fancy chair telling this story while I have to do over 200 ridiculous tasks" Oh and you think telling it is easy? Well I have to suffer too you know! C'mon Jimmy! Lets go grab some coffee! "But Jimmy T. wants to finish the story!" Fine! Fine! Well have it your way just as long as someone puts up that 4th wall.  
  
BEEP! Derek had to throw a basketball in a hoop. You can trust me on this one when I say he isn't Like Mike. BEEP! Derek had to jump over hurdles. Derek isn't a high jumper. He's in constant pain right now. The kind you get when you run at a constant speed and try to jump over a hurdle but you land mid-jump. Yeah. BEEP! Derek had to block a soccer ball from entering the net. Good thing he's good at blocking. BEEP! Derek had to play jump rope. Hey speaking of you remember in grade school when you had to play jump rope and had to do those silly nursey-rhymes? Well here's one for the 3 of you that still jump rope.  
  
Wario,Wario likes his gold How many in millions can he hold?  
  
Then you do that silly counting thing every time you jump. Though I honestly I don't see why jumping over the rope effects the amount of currency Wario has. Its preposterous!  
  
BEEP! Derek had to jump on a trampoline high enough until he could hit a bell. The sad thing is he hit it with his head. BEEP! Derek had to spike a volleyball. I really cant add-on to that. BEEP! Derek had to Jump over some blocks on a skating board. It was an incredible mix of balance and something else! Lets call it patience! Yeah thats it! And after Derek mastered jumping over the bricks they canceled Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 5. Now they're doing Tony Hawk Kids in Tony Hawks Pro Scooter! Actually I'm lieing but it'd be a crazy idea. BEEP! Derek was snow boarding. He had to avoid a big snowball. He failed. Yeah thats kind of why he wasn't in 1080 Avalanche.   
  
"Well thats the last of the spam mails, kid. The nightmare is finally over." Just when Jimmy Spoke those words some men crashed through the wall. One was wearing what a green TV shaped thing around his head. One was wearing a Blue Mask. One was wearing some freaky yellow eyepiece thing. Like Burger King's old mascot. Remember? with that Kid who had the remote? Oh forget it..."Hey! Who are you uncool folk? We don't appreciate guys like you coming in like that! And no song and dance number!" "We are the Rejected Punch-Out Boxers Who say 'Ni'!" said the green guy. "Wait when have we ever said 'Ni'? I haven't said 'Ni'. Hey Yellow! Have you ever said 'Ni'? Who says 'Ni'?" queried the blue. "Well I've said 'Ni'. Like once. It was that time you guys did that thing and I was alone. I said 'Ni' then." "The heck you did!" And green and blue started to get in a fight. "Well Well it looks like its just yous two and me!" "Hey! Look over to your left dude!" "Eh?" Jimmy delivered a quick left uppercut to Yellow. "Ooo you got me that time but next time you wont-" But Jimmy did it again. "I think I should learn how to defend...." But before he regained that skill Jimmy delivered 2 more punches. "That is it Blue Hair! You're going down!" And Yellow started to charge up and knocked Jimmy T. Right outta the park. Wait once more I have to tell myself that were in a building. So Jimmy landed in a dumpster outside the Club. Derek couldn't do it. He couldn't beat up a large man wearing a yellow eyepiece. Not after what he did to Jimmy. So using my magical powers of narration I say that the yellow guy is defeated. So there. Oh and the other 2 guys are gone too I guess.  
  
"Smooth Groove!' said Jimmy as Derek pulled him out of the dumpster. "You're moving on to the next 3 man!" So Jimmy called up Dribble and Spitz,Mona, and 9-Volt. Which is weird. "Now what is it dude?" Well if you recall I rushed 9-Volts,Kat,and Ana's introduction to the WarioWare universe in a pathetic manner. So I'm kind of surprised you know their phone numbers. "Because I said so!" "I have to give it to him, Wariofan, he's right." WHAT? Hey! you can't use my own lines against me! Oh I am so telling my lawyer! "You're suing a character you created? How genius!" Shut up! SHUT UP! "Put up that 4th Wall Jimmy!"  
  
"Wait a second kid, don't leave just yet! Is that a GBA you got there? Let me see it." "What are doing to it?" "Don't worry, man. Special cartridge here. I've been given orders if you were to make it this far." Jimmy pressed some buttons. It kind of looks like fun. Getting control of that magical handheld device...."I uploaded Dr.Mario. onto that for you. Except its a 'newer' version. Try it yourself. Oh and come over here I want you to play this Jump Forever game with me!" "Jump...Forever?" "Oh its just that jump rope game...except LONGER!" "Well all right" "Way cool, man! Wario, Wario, likes his gold. How many in millions can he hold? 1...2...3...4..." And so as we leave these 2 to play that silly little jump roping game the camera pans out and the next chapter of this tory shall be created sometime or another. And Id like to make a note that this newly installed 4th wall is made of that stuff the Black Hole Army uses in Advance Wars 2. So NOBODY can break it down! So see you next time. Same WarioWare Time...Same WarioWare Channel.  
  
END JIMMY 


	4. When 2 Nintendo Fans Meet

The Legend of Wario Ware  
  
9-Volt  
  
Surgeon Generals Warning: All characters are respective copyrights and all that jiggity jazz except in the case of....Maybe if you read the previous 2 surgeon general warnings then I wouldn't have to repeat myself every chapter....  
  
Surgeon Generals Warning: All characters are respective copyrights and all that jiggity jazz except in the case of....Maybe if you read the previous 2 surgeon general warnings then I wouldn't have to repeat myself every chapter....  
  
Hilarious Mind games aside....  
  
BRRRRIIIIING!  
  
The Diamond Elementary School Bell rung....rang....ringed....the point is it made the noise signifieing school was out. That's all that matters. And we focus here on one particular student 9-Volt. who majestically skates out of the schoolyard and past the dinosaur holding a sign. Its best not to ask. 9-Volt went to his home and turned on some lights and some lights and stuff showing off to nobody whatsoever that he was a true blue Nintendo fan...despite the fact that he doesn't wear blue and that there wasn't nobody in the house. Yes i used a double negative there so hush.  
  
"Quite and interesting collection you have here 9-Volt..."  
  
9-Volt turned around to see that guy from the last 2 chapters....Derek! How's that for suspense?  
  
"Hey you must be Derek!"  
  
This is the part where the obvious is pointed out after I've stated it.  
  
Then the boring introductions which I shouldn't bother to tell you and we'll skip whatsoever.  
  
"Well at least its nice to meet another positive-outlook-toward-Donkey-Konga fan!" Derek said. "What are to talking about? I'm not even going to RENT it! I'm not THAT big of a Nintendo fan boy!" "But you were saying how nice it was for games to take a break form their original plot..." "I meant like in Yoshi's Island you have to save Baby Luigi and not Peach or in Majora's Mask where you have to save time rather then the Triforce. Not abandoning bananas for a stupid drum!" "I dunno its selling pretty well in Japan..." "JAPAN? Well I cant argue with that.... I retract my last paragraph.""Make with the games already!" "Right! Step this way."  
  
So they stepped that way over to a rather large Game Boy. "I call it the Reality Boy!" "Please explain!" "Iintend too! See a person must step inside the battery dealy and you'll be sucked into the game. See without a cartridge of sorts you'll find yourself in a Zelda-esque land. Now due to my plot-altering programming you can only get out if you clear the 24 cartridges I have prepared. Each cartridge has been modified so it appears as if your the hero of the game. I've only been able to put very small bits and pieces of games into each however so they shouldn't take that long Ill even jump in with you because I can." "Well then who'll change the cartridges?" "My pet something! Shag!" A little yellow dealy with a Bart Simpson hair cut ran up to the duo. "Is that Bart Simpson?" "You would not BELIEVE how many people say that!" "How many?" "Zero. You're the 1st. Congrats." With that settled 9-Volt and Derek got into the battery dealy and the Reality Boy turned on. The annoying word of the chapter is BZZT! Just so ya know.  
  
BZZT! Balloon Fight! Derek had to dodge some gravity-defieing sparks to get to the other side. BZZT! Duck Hunt! Its really self explanatory. You shoot the duck. Then you glare at the dog wishing it were dead.... With them big doggy eyes...those long ears...that annoying laugh...Why must he laugh? Its not MY fault I missed the shot! What? Sorry. BZZT!KZZT!SPLZZT! "What's going on? And was that last one even a sound effect?" "Uh-Oh.." "Uh-Oh What?" "This must be the test cartridge. That screws up the Reality Boy. Were going to out of control in a sec." And so the RB did start fritzing around the room. The only thing to do was to hope Shag could stick the Virus Free Cartridge in without breaking anything. And with an amazingly tight grasp for a 2-inch creature Shag grabbed the RB by the screen and stuck in the Virus Free Cartridge. BZZT! "Haha! All back to normal! OK Shag you can stick in the next one.Ó BZZT! Donkey Kong! A Classic Jump-over-the-barrel move was all it took to clear this game.  
  
BZZT! F-Zero! Zoom! Swish! Florf! All those speedy sound effects mean that it was instantly cleared within seconds due to the fact that the F-Zero cars are fast and fast. BZZT! That Keyboard Thing! Derek reviewed his recently gained typing skills and hit those buttons like Santa on a Keebler diet! Ignoring the nonsensical phrase I just now said people say I need some keyboarding skills. But that's just not true. I am the MASTER of it all when it comes to speeling. BZZT! Super Mario Bros. A bit of Goomba squashing here. Kind of like back in that one thing in the Tutorial Chapter. BZZT! The Ultra Hand! Grabbing a ball with careful precision! It takes much practice for one to master this. You must be skilled at coordination and speed. You must oh wait Derek cleared it already lets keep going.  
  
BZZT! Chiritorie! Or however it be spelled! Unbeknownst to many a people this thing actually existed. I don't have one but you know the game says it does so it MUST be true. BZZT! Laser McSomething or Other! Not being the most coordinated sharp shooter in the west Derek missed the target several a-time. 9-Volt had or jump in and take the shot. BZZT! HoganÕs Alley! Featuring Hollywood Hulk Hogan.Wait no it doesn't. Hmmmm the guns should've really tipped me off on that one. BZZT! Fly Swatter! Haha! Utilizing the power of smacking bugs constantly and his fear of insects itself Derek was able to smack multiple flies down.  
  
BZZT! Ice Climbers! The catchy music helped not to slip over the ice and reach the top of the high dangerous mountain. BZZT! The Legend of Zelda! Quite an easy one this was. Basically Derek just had to enter a nearby cave. BZZT! Sheriff! Wait...Sheriff? Oh i remember you! A trophy from Super Smash Bros. Melee you were. So hard to get! Had to beat everyone's Total Target Test Time in under 25 minutes I recall. Yes you were quite the toughie. Well we can just skip you all to ..drat it! Derek beat it before I could finish the sentence again! BZZT! Dr.Mario! Line up the Pills with the Viruses in hot Virus on Pill Action! Ill stop now....  
  
BZZT! Racing 112! Looks kind of pathetic there... I mean the graphics are just SO out of style. Fashion Alert! Um right the continuing. BZZT! Mario Clash! Now here's a rare one! I remember back in the day when Mario Clash was all the rage! Then people lost their eyes which was also cool back in my day too. I kind of lied back there but who's counting? Helmet! A true classic! A Game and Watch Unit these days are about as hard to find as a whatever the heck Shag is! BZZT! Urban Champion! Although it probably would be illegal to true it these days this is a pretty cool game. With the kicking and the punching and the falling down the sewers!  
  
You know...I'M getting a bit tired having to say BZZT! Ever so often! Lets make it more interesting! Ill replace the sound effects with nonsensical words! Just don't call the cops on me or anything.  
  
JORB! ROB the Robot! Can he fix it? ROB the Robot! No not really. He just dropped the stack of circles... way to go Butterfingers! BORT! Metroid! Speaking of have you heard about that new remake thing their making? Supposedly its to have a surprise ending. How's that for a remake? FOOF! Wild Gunman! What I find this game to be so amazing is that it had a cameo in Back to the Future Part 2. Great movie it be. In my opinion its the best of the series. MLACK! Laser dealy! This is also an odd one seeing as how your shooting lasers through a TV Screen. I hope one day to obtain laser vision.  
  
"Well that was a great run through eh 9-Volt?" "Indeed! I'm just glad there wasn't some idiot narrating witty phrases throughout that action-packed adventure! Cause if you missed it then your stupid!" Why is it now I hate my life so?  
  
Ah but outside the Reality Boy...Shag appeared to be knocked out. While a mysterious figure inserted a multi-colored cartridge inside. Suspense is rising! Ooooooo! The Zelda-esque World started to grow dark. "Oh my God! The battery is running out! Were going to be DELETED!" "Pipe down! If I know my own creation then we cant ever die in here. We just go to sleep for some time. But going to nighttime? That shouldn't happen ever ever ever. Ever." "I get the general idea..." "I know I just like saying 'ever'" "Why?" "Don't change the subject." "After a moment or two of darkness something dropped out of the sky. Looked like a giant pitching machine. It had 10 balls!....Stop laughing! That's not what I meant! "A pitching machine causing all this? 9-Volt what's going on?" "I dunno but if its the true cause then this is about as low as creating the 27th letter of the alphabet just by flipping a current one upside-down."  
  
9-Volt grabbed a baseball bat swung it some and got ready to hit some homers. then maybe hit some barts and marges. All right that was pretty stupid, I'm just trying to lighten the situation here. Well the only basic description I can give you is that 9-Volt hit baseballs.And he kinda won. Don't look at m like that how do you expect me to go all paragraph-like for a boss that just a stinking pitching machine? I mean, the pendulum back in the Tutorial was a lot more action-packed then this.  
  
"Well now that you've defeated the 'boss' how do e get out?" "Simple!" Narration plot hole! Whoosh! "What the? How'd did we-?" "Stop talking its my turn. Anyway. I want to congratulate you for clearing the games and beating the boss!" "But you-" "9-Volt SLAP!" "I defeated the boss!" "Indeed! Now then Give me that custom GBA thingy so I can upload a game to it." 2 seconds pass... "Done! I've uploaded your own portable version of Chiritorie. However Jimmy hacked into it beforehand and I've never been able tog et rid of the T-Virus.....but I've got him right where I want him! Oh yes! I have his cat!" Just then Ken the Reporter burst through the door ran up to 9-Volt and shouted all reporter like "The NEW Duel colored Onyx/Platinum GBA SP is here! Get yours today or your gonna be eating at Arby's!" Immediately 9-Volt got on his skateboard abandoned Derek, and arrived at the store. But that's another story. And so we close of tonight's episode with Derek winning a batch of classic Nintendo games. Which of the 2...really 3 remaining developers will he beseech to next? Find out next week! I cant guarantee that!  
  
END 9-Volt 


	5. Get into the SciFi Taxi!

The Legend of Wario Ware Inc.  
  
Dribble and Spitz  
  
GENERAL SURGEONS WARNING: Does anyone read these?  
  
It was a dark night. Slightly cloudy with a 90% chance of rain. The Wind Chill tonight is ohÉsorry. Derek was trudging through the winds to find the Diamond City Taxi Service. Then he heard some promising voices! ÒHarder! Faster! Rah!Ó ÒIm trying! Buts its too big too fit into this hole!Ó Derek cannot take such comments without double implying what they mean. So he quickly fainted. Putting the story to an immediate halt!  
  
ÒHey Spitz! This guy looks like he just fainted! Lets revive him!Ó  
  
Hmmm? Oh crap! Just when I got my coat on!  
  
ÒGuh? Where am I? Is this a Taxi Service? Funny I was-Ò ÒWell too late buddy! You're not buying anything so get out!Ó ÒHold up Dribble isnÕt that the guy that Wario hired to test out the games and such?Ó ÒSure why not?Ó ÒWait what? Dribble and Spitz? The Taxi Drivers?Ó ÒYeah thatÕs us! Hey...um...Spitz we gotta...you know?Ó Ò Oh yeah! We just got a new Taxi in! We were filling it up and ready to go for a test run! However the Diamond City Law states that for the 1st 5 minutes of a new Taxi we may not take in any passengers! Its crazy I know but there were some complications this one time that Dribble prefers not to talk about that caused it.Ó At this point Dribble begins to cry. ÒOh why did it have be like this? Why wont you love me daddy? You hugged the mailman! Why didnÕt you hug me?Ó ÒUmmm...should I just come back later?Ó ÒNo! No! DonÕt worry about Dribble he does that a lot! WeÕll just take a quick drive for 10 minutes! YouÕll have to wait by the pizza place though because I said so! CÕmon Dribble! Once again you gotta drive!Ó ÒWait guys! I want to tell you about this dream I had!Õ But the door slammed shut and all was lost  
  
It began to rain. ÒHey this wasnÕt so bad! Im sorry I doubted you Spitz!" "Hey! Look over there! That theater is showing 'Elf'!" "Im on it!" And Dribble quickly sharp turned into the movie theater causing many crashes and staying the duration of the film. They bought a number 2 combo! Which consists of a large popcorn a medium drink and candy of your choice! They got quite a deal I tell you! After the movie and unbeknownst to them that they left Derek out in the rain Dribble and Spitz drive back to the Taxi Service thing. But then they see a familiar figure standing around in this weather and came to a screeching halt.   
  
"Yeah you cabbies sure are reliable." "Hey give us a break! The theater was showing 'Elf'!" shouted Dribble. "Oh! Well why didn't you say so?" "I just did." "So you have... Anyway I wanted to talk to you about this weird dream I had. It told me to go somewhere." "So where you going?" "That voice! It was like the sea!""....." "Yeah I know, I can't believe I just said something so cheesy either." "Well Dribble, you know where to go." "10-4 old buddy!" "Don't call me that." "Sure thing best chum!" "You're fired..." "Wait... aren't I supposed to play some microgames in a humorous manner or something?" "Tell him Dribble!" "See what happens is this car apparently has a portal in the trunk so we decided to throw all of our microgames into it. But there IS a catch! It runs on your completion. Since nobody's performed them yet it wont go very fast. But after all of them are cleared once it should run as smooth as ever! The sea is about 25 miles from here so I suggest you get comfy. Spitz here will take you through the stages because he wont be able to drive at his height." But unknowing to Dribble, Spitz and Derek had already got out and opened the trunk and have prepared for microgame madness. "Why does no one ever listen to me?" sighed Dribble as he insert car-relating ignition sentence here   
  
The secret word is .....VROOM!  
  
VROOM! Derek had to capture an alien. Easily done by letting the stupid creature just walk through the cage and letting down the ends. VROOM! Derek had to steer a motorcycle so that it would land safely on a nearby slope as to not cause accidents. To himself. VROOM! Now he was a pilot of a ship and had to shoot down the enemy ships. Ships that looked like they were taken from Star Wars. VROOM! A ninja in the night! Having to cross the tops of buildings! Avoiding the enemy Samurai's giant...wait... are those lollipops? It must be the deadly cherry flavor!  
  
VROOM! As Mario, he had to stealthily avoid the fireballs and.... pebbles that the odd-skinned Bowser kicked at him. VROOM! Magically soaring through the air, Derek had to collected 5 orange colored spheres. I don't think we need to know anymore about this...VROOM! Still soaring through the air, he had to avoid hitting the buildings for safety reasons... Believe it or not, he's walking on air! Never thought he could....sorry. VROOM! The ninja walks through the darkness! Avoiding any arrows that come his way! "Ow! That hurts! And its pointy!" Some ninja YOU are...  
  
VROOM! Robot pieces falling everywhere! Waaaa! Hey! What's that they spell? V-U-A? Hmmm.... Vicious Underwater Ants? Violent Underwear Articles? No wait! Its Victor's Umbrella Army! Of course! How could I have been so blind? VROOM! Once more Derek found himself in a spaceship. Alas no weapon controls! Unless...."Gah! Now IM being fired at?" Good thing his ship was built for speed and can quickly dodge the *BOOM* oh dang it! VROOM! Derek found himself as Mario again yet this time he had superior strength and could easily go straight to Bowser and flip him upside the head. VROOM! Derek had to hit Mars, represented as a tiny red ball. But then again... isn't everything just a tiny ball when you think about it? There could be a lot to the outer space that we have yet to discover. And we are but the tiny balls of one large bit of matter. OK! That sounded weird!  
  
VROOM! ONCE MORE in a spaceship except this time on...uh.. Fuel Control? Well he had to propel himself up and down to avoid incoming rocks. VROOM! On that motorbike again Derek had to avoid... firecrackers being thrown at by the thieves just over on the mountainside. VROOM! In another spaceship he had to blast some floating blocks. They had letters on it that spelled out his name. VROOM! As a ninja he was traveling at accelerating speed through a pipe! Searching for the rival ninja! As the strike was made, the word 'Kill' appeared out of nowhere. And written in Japanese!  
  
VROOM! For the final time he was Mario except here he had to do a few arm movements to create a Giant orb of DOOM! And DOOM was brought unto the Bowser.DOOM!... er VROOM! Derek had to concentrate on some inner power dealy and then he would be able to transform into a hero! CHANGED! "Just call me... *pose* Viewtiful Derek!" Right.... VROOM! Inside yet another spaceship Derek had to avoid the waves. Wait...waves? Those are upside-down! How can this be? Panic Attack! VROOM! As the Captain of a stick figure astronaut division, he had to lead his team so that they would be able to escape the grasp of a giant glass cup!  
  
VROOM! In yet ANOTHER spaceship. Derek had to avoid the many fire bullets heading his way. Dashing left and right he, oh I give up.... VROOM! A ninja through and through! Able to realize how many image double he is producing. "Three!" "No you made Two..." "I don't like being a ninja anymore..." VROOM! Again on the motor bike except this time he had to perform a wheelie excellent enough to ride over the rocks. "OW! My back! It brings pain!" Just walk away slowly..... VROOM! And as a finishing touch Derek had to cut a stick made of bamboo. Not too difficult...  
  
"And thats the end of that chapter!" Spitz said with some glee as the two of them climbed out of the portal. Yet still in the trunk. Cause its kind of hard to get in a car from the trunk when the car is still moving. "Not quite.." shouted Dribble looking up into the darkness of space. "I saw some weird happenings going on on the Mobile Space Cam. "Mobile Space Cam?" "Yeah it helps us keep track of what's going on in the night sky above the car." "But isn't this a new car?How did it get installed so quickly?" "SHHHH! If they can't pinpoint that out then they won't care!" "So what happened then?" "Well what I saw was the time orbs falling out of the time vortex and releasing Giant gelatinous orb with what looks like some sort of nucleus controlling it." Spitz glared. "Obviously the work of Victor's Umbrella Army, OK Dribble, I think its time we launch the Miniature Missile." "Gotcha!"   
  
And so Dribble pulled over, reached into the glove compartment and pull out a small triangle. Derek stared at it as if he's never seen shapes before. "This is it?" "Sadly yes... but it can absorb upgrades to give it more shooting power and a shield. Plus its controlled by this old Galaga Arcade machine!" And out of nowhere a Galaga machine appeared. And Derek took the controls. Apparently Dribble and Spitz had reprogrammed the thing so that it keeps an eye on the miniature triangle device after they launched it into space. It was a simplistic adventure that involved movement and firing! Soon the Triangle Device slowed down and they knew they were close to the Time Vortex. Using expert skills they guided the "Time Orbs" into the Vortex and everything began moving smoothly again. Then after some random upgrades and many a minion they found the giant orb dealy and its control ball thing. THe Control ball kept going into and out of the gelatinous orb dealy but that didn't stop the Team on Earth. Even on the slightest occasion when the control ball sneaked out it was fired away until it blow up and the orb dealy dissolved and all was well again.  
  
"Well this day was mildly interesting..." complained Derek. "NIGHT this NIGHT was mildly interesting." corrected Spitz. "What are you going to do? Call the Grammar Police on me?" "No one ever respects us..." Said the Grammar Cop sadly as he drove by... "Anyway that space journey was pretty simple." "Don't worry about. Victor's Umbrella Army is about as stupid as introducing yourself to a popular franchise through a spin-off tennis game!" Everyone laughed in unison. Just then when they realized they were at their destination a fish popped out of the sea. "If you join me in the pool I shall grant you the abilities of a merman!" "Nah, Ill pass on that offer." "Hey! I didn't contact you through dreams for nothing! Get In here!" "I don't feel like it!""You drove 25 miles out to the sea and you want to turn back? You mammals really make me sick! I spit on your land! May you drown a million times!" "Hey Dribble! Howzabout we go back to the City and do stuff?" "Sound good to me! WHat about you Spitz?" "Im having fish tonight!"  
  
After dinner was over Spitz had something to give Derek. "Yeah show me that Gameboy dealy with all the junk loaded onto it. Im going to put a game called 'Chicken Race' on there. Its really something you have to do with 2-players. Its pretty freaky.It involves 9-Volt, Shag, and feet." "You're crazy!" "I know!" "Well I gotta get going. I have one more developer to see before I go back and see Jimmy again. Farewell!" And after Derek departed Dribble came to a realization. "Hey! We forgot to collect the fare!" "No we didn't! I stole his wallet!" "Thats MY wallet!" "Same difference..." So until then... so long!  
  
On the Next Episode of "Legend of Wario Ware"  
  
Dennis:Hey! Mr.Wilson! Can I play with your hose?  
  
Mr.Wilson: Dennis for the last time NO! Im using it to water my tulips and azaleas!  
  
Dennis:*shifty eyes* Whatever you say Mr.Wilson!  
  
Mr.Wilson: There now, was that so hard?  
  
Dennis:*sneaks around to the back and makes the water come out at a high rate*  
  
Mr. Wilson: *trying to gain control of the hose* DENNIS!!  
  
See you next time! 


End file.
